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Shake It Off: Music’s Top 5 Tweeters And Funny Troll Comebacks
©Alexi / Alamy Stock Photo
List & Guides

Shake It Off: Music’s Top 5 Tweeters And Funny Troll Comebacks

Music may not be a sport, but it takes a good sport to be a musician. These funny comebacks show which artists do Twitter best…

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We all know the risk/reward of becoming a famous musician. The liberation of doing what you love, expressing your creativity and showcasing your talent to the world every day (with the favourable monetary rewards) versus the exposure to the public eye, long hours, lack of privacy (and sleep) and very questionable work/life balance. But as well as creating innovative music, releasing hit records and cultivating a loyal fanbase, musicians now also have to fire off funny comebacks in an unending war against Twitter trolls.

Fans love to feel close to their favourite artists, read about their favourite colours in magazines and watch their Instagram stories (clutching onto that glimmer of hope that they’ve checked into a nearby restaurant so we can scurry down and bump into them), not to mention religiously refresh their Spotify feeds for any songs that might yet be undiscovered.

And some of those artists love to give us what we want: a continuous stream of social-media updates, (rightly or wrongly) opinionated tweets and a closer look into their day-to-day lives and personalities (hoorah!).

But not everybody is like us*, unfortunately, (*Us: the respectful music lovers and artist appreciators out there.)

So, what lies on the other side of artists being so in tune with their fans?

The people who might not be as fond of them as we are.

That’s right. We’re talking about trolls.

trolls funny combacks

No, not the creepy-but-cute kind with the gravity-defying, car-stopping, rainbow-coloured hair (that kinda gave some kids nightmares, to be honest). These are the trolls that real nightmares are made of…

Music’s Top 5 Tweeters And Funny Troll Comebacks

Social media was all fun and games, and then the trolls had to come along and give their two cents on – well, pretty much everyone, but, most importantly, our favourite artists. As much as we love these musicians, we can’t fight their battles for them – but then some of them have shown they really don’t need us to.

Our list of the Top 5 tweeters and funny troll comebacks consists of a variety of responses to this kind of foul play. Some of our artists laugh in the face of trolls. Some join in with them. Some take on the roll of troll themselves, and turn on their fellow-artists. And some – well, they just don’t give a fuck what the trolls say, they’re going to tweet their hearts out anyway.

5: Kanye West

“N-now th-that don’t kill me/Can only make me stronger…” If you’re such a tough guy, Yeezy, why are you getting Kim to fight your battles for you (literally – she’s his lawyer, get it?).

In all seriousness, Kanye West earns his place on our list of the top tweeters for sheer volume and controversial variety. If you haven’t cast your eyes on his Twitter yet, we recommend you do so – and quickly, before he gets suspended again for mass tweeting. One minute he’s quoting the bible…

… Next he’s posting videos pissing on his Grammy in the toilet [holds hands to face in shock]. We’ll take that Grammy, if you don’t want it, Ye.

He’s not afraid to reach out to his fellow artists, either, or ask for help when he needs it. (Even from Taylor Swift?!?! He must really want that retweet…)

Not to mention keeping us in the loop with his favourite theories and conspiracies…

If you haven’t seen his Twitter yet, it’s definitely worth your morning or evening “in-bed” scroll, or commute if you’re one of the lucky (or unlucky, subject to opinion) ones that still get to travel to work every day.

4: Noel Gallagher

Noel Gallagher is well known in the troll department – not for being trolled, but for trolling his fellow musicians (oh no he didn’t). Famously, he trolled Lewis Capaldi during a live interview and started one of our favourite music artist feuds of all time (that’s a whole different story…).

“There are many things that I would like to say to you/But I don’t know how…” Well, he certainly knows how now. Noel once preached “don’t look back in anger”, but does he practice it? Where he might openly troll in his live interviews, his Twitter is a more subtle and, let’s say, indirect story, full of sarcastic, hilarious visuals but, most importantly, rejecting at all costs the idea of Oasis getting back together…

And the award for The Least Subtle Troll About Your Sibling In The History Of Tweets goes to…

We are all arsed, Noel (we just wish it were different news). We also love it when the celeb “petty wars” begin – you know the type: the indirect, underhanded comments against their frenemies or, worse, family. Well, if that’s your kind of humour, grab your popcorn and look no further than Noel’s tweets about the release of Liam’s new single.

Snaaaaaaaap! But it’s not all bad, is it Noel? Apparently, upon meeting a dreary-faced girl in Levi’s who wasn’t going to hit her sales quota, he bought ten pairs of 501s to make her day! (Queue violins and elongated “Awwwwwww…”) He does have a heart in there somewhere.

3: Charli XCX

The queen of teaching us to break the rules, boom clap and taking us back to 1999. Taking a slightly different approach, instead of waiting for trolls to take the piss out of her, Charli XCX reverses the funny comeback and takes the piss out of herself first – and we commend it.

Whether it’s asking for her fans’ input on album covers, or shedding light on what making a music video really looks like while “working from home”, this pop diva offers it all.

First up, Charli poses on her bed in what can only be described as her best Teletubby impersonation (in a green-screen costume), to the joy of her fans on Twitter…

Green is your colour, Charli. This girl also isn’t afraid to retweet her most embarrassing (or revealing) outtakes. She often asks her fans to help her choose her album covers – but, tactfully, the upside butt shot didn’t make it in as a contender.

We get it, Charli. When you’re working from home it can sometimes be hard to remember the basics:

Wash your hair? Check.
Brush your teeth? Check.
Put on trousers? Damn it, we knew we’d forgotten something!

Charli offers a complementary mix of sass with taking the Michael (out of herself). To finish off our roll call of her funniest tweets, it had to be her joke submission for the Gal Gadot Imagine video.

2: James Blunt

Who else, other than the outspoken king of Twitter troll comebacks? Blunt by name, blunt by nature – and best known for standing in the rain, removing items of clothing and singing, “You’re beautiful.”

Is it his self-deprecating nature we love so much? Or the fact he’s not just witty, but also a good role model for youngsters? (Don’t drink and tweet is valuable life advice not to be taken for granted… “James Blunt for Prime Minister”?)

When the trolls claim James Blunt used to have some bangers, he offers a helping hand to correct their grammar mistakes…

Oh, Blunty, you just can’t escape the “one-hit wonder” and “past tense” trolling, can you? It’s good to stand up to the trolls, but, ultimately, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, eh?

That’s what our man quickly learned…

He’s timely. He keeps his finger on the pulse with current affairs. And – our very favourite of his Twitter qualities – he’s not afraid to give himself a good rinsing. (In all seriousness, though, what a top guy for hosting a hospital radio show during the COVID-19 pandemic. We knew we liked you, James!)

Oh, and what we wouldn’t do to be in a crowded place right about now… James Blunt reminds us of life in 2000 BC.** (** Before Coronavirus, that is.)

Thanks for the continued LOLs, James. We can always count on you…

1: Lewis Capaldi

Before you go… it should be no surprise who’s made No.1 on our list of music’s top Tweeters. The king of joining in with his own trolling, the one and the only someone you loved… it’s @LewisCapaldi, aka “i don’t even know who lewis capaldi is”.

Whether it’s posting extremely flattering (ahem) up-close selfies, video “ads” taking the piss out of his gym workouts, or ripping his own songs, Capaldi offers it all (and that’s before the trolls have even got involved). There really is something wildly charming about someone who knows how to stick it to themselves, isn’t there?

No matter what the trolls throw at Capaldi, he just isn’t fazed. The undisputed master of delivering funny comebacks, we are yet to see him take any piece of trolling seriously, or react with anything other than pure hilarity. If anything, he seems to find the attacks pretty funny himself, and often shares/retweets them, giving his trolls an even wider audience (over one million Twitter followers and counting…).

“Bovvered? Am I bovvered, though?” (read in Catherine Tate’s famous “Lauren” voice). We can tell you this for free, Lewis Capaldi certainly isn’t. Whether it’s renouncing his new releases, likening them to the world’s suffering in 2020 (what a year), or just plain offering his wit, we are all here for it…

If you’re still wondering why he tops our list of music’s Top 5 tweeters and funny troll comebacks, see this collection of our favourite Lewis Capaldi posts:

Never change, Capaldi.

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